Goodbye, farewell, adieu…

It’s probably the one thing I am totally dreadful at. Saying goodbye. It leaves me an emotional wreck. Whether it’s waving a friend off at the airport, leaving a job or that most dreadful of goodbye’s, a funeral, you can guarantee that with me there will be tears. A friend went travelling with work recently and I was a total wreck the day I knew she was off and I wasn’t even waving her off on the day. We had said our goodbyes before her actual departure day (cue another crying episode!) I’m not sure when this started but I am sure that there will be some deep seated trauma attached to it and a psychologist would have an absolute field day with me. “Goodbye” leaves me ridiculously exhausted. 
I am currently psyching myself up for a goodbye that I know I will find dreadfully traumatic. 

The day Neil, Dad I will walk out of the mill, together as a family for the last time. Mallalieus of Delph will cease to be family affair. Neil and I have already said goodbye and left but it doesn’t seem real yet. I truly believe that will come when we return to do it with Dad on his last day at the end of July. That is when I will truly saying farewell. I will be saying goodbye to two of the most genuine, dedicated, faithful friends I have ever had the pleasure of working with. They are fierce and dedicated to their job but mainly to the friendship the three of us have formed over the last three years. 

There is nothing they don’t know about me and there is nothing we haven’t been through together. Love, accusations, illness, death, joy and hysterics. We have used dark humour to the best of our abilities to get us through some of the hardest things three humans will experience. We have played practical jokes on each other and laughed until we have nearly done a little wee. There are always people you will miss when you leave a job but with Linda and Sharon it’s a different kind of “miss” We have all shared things and have a loyalty I have never experienced with work colleagues before. We are tight and have had each other’s backs. I will miss that level of friendship and loyalty on a daily basis. From the bottom of my hearts I will miss you both dearly. 

I will miss seeing my Dad and my Brother daily. Without them knowing, it allows me to keep a close eye on them. It’s not always easy working with your family I am sure but the last three years have never on the whole been difficult with them. This decision for the three of us has come for a few reasons but I know for my Dad’s health mainly, it has been a much needed and positive decision. He will thrive now and become a free soul to enjoy life and retirement instead of being trapped as a Managing Director, a job he’s done from being 19. It’s been a job and a hobby for him and I am sure there will be a huge grieving process for him to go through but he will fill the void with exciting things and a much needed new and relaxed way of life. And hey, he can get a dog now too! 

As for saying goodbye to Mallalieus, it’s steeped in our history but it is a building and not even the original building. We said goodbye to that last June when fire cruelly ripped through her old bones, so there is nothing really to say goodbye to in that respect. It’s textiles that pumps through our veins and who knows? The next adventure might well involve textiles too so that may not be a goodbye just yet. 

I do believe though, as we walk out of those doors as a family for the final time, there will no doubt be a tearing at the heart and a physical pain that won’t be able to be masked in any way, so I won’t try to. It will be what it will be and we are heading to exciting things. I wish goodbyes were easy. I wish I wasn’t as mushy about them as I am but the fact is, this emotion makes me raw. It makes me compassionate and empathetic. It makes me human. For that I will make no apologies.  

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